This Just In From the Apocolypse!

Okay, there's this really cool lady I work with at Chakra 4 who is not only a psychic, but a scientist as well. She's the brilliant Katarina. We were discussing the hottest topic in New Age circles. That's right folks, the Big Bad 2012. The Great Pole Shift. The End of Days. The Time of the Great Ascension. The Return of Quetzacoatl (which might not be a bad thing since, according to Mayan legend, the last time he was here, he gifted humanity with chocolate. Hmmmm).
So let's address each of these myths.
First the Big Bad 2012. According to New Agers, on December 21st, 2012, the earth is supposed to align with the galactic center of the galaxy, which puts us in line with the power of the Black Hole at the center of the galaxy. The only thing blocking it's mutant hoover powers is the sun (ours). This event is supposed to trigger the Great Pole Shift (which I'll explain next). I'm sorry to disappoint those of you counting on this cataclysmic event (that would have destroyed all life on earth inside of 24 hours), because it already happened. About a year and a half ago. We kinda missed it.
Now let's move on to the Great Pole Shift (which was caused by the aforementioned Black Hole). Above you will see an image of what earth looks like after this event. (Kind of looks like somebody just scanned the normal earth pic in sidewise). Canada is supposed to become the new North Pole and both them and the US is, well - fucked. Katarina explained that when fossils are found, they date the rock they're found in, not the fossil itself, because the earth is shifting all the time. The shift they're speaking of above should take about 5,000 to 10,000 years, and it won't be nearly as dramatic as this image implies.
Next: the End of Days. Here, I would like to quote my brilliant daughter Stephanie who observed that if all the uptight fundamentalists are the ones who leave the planet due to the Rapture, this would technically make earth Paradise.
The Time of the Great Ascension (my favorite - seriously, I am inundated with this crap constantly). Anybody who has a high enough vibration is supposed to do the same thing the Christians are doing. It's their form of the 'Rapture'. Once your vibration is high enough, you're supposed to 'phase' or 'ascend' to a new earth, because this one splits in two, and the 'chosen ones' will leave to the New Earth while the assholes stay behind. And we're supposed to have Nautilus bodies - no cellulite - and be multiply orgasmic. I don't think I need to comment on this one. Seriously now. If you think so, please reread this last paragraph.
The Return of Quetzacoatl. Again, he brought chocolate last time. HELLO? Is this a bad thing?
To note, Katarina said there have been tons of prophecies native people have made over the millenia that have not come true. (Plus, for us white folk and our own lovely doomsayers, have you ever read any of Nostradomus' predictions? Seriously. His prediciton that all his followers correlate with 9/11 was that we were attacked by the King of the Mongols in 1999. Um, yeah. Except that Bin Laden was Saudi Arabian and NOT asian and the whole 2001, 1999 thing. Kind of off in the years, don't you think?)
One I didn't mention is the old 'Aliens Landing to Save Us'. Aliens aren't interested in saving us. That's our job. Plus, if they're that evolved, you'd think they'd move beyond a combustion engine and just travel here psychicly. Who needs a space ship? Plus if you had one, you'd have to hide it and by the time you got back to it, some gang banger would have tagged it. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be? Especially if you were an invader? Or worse, you'd find a fat orange sticker on it saying it would be towed because you didn't have any current tags.
This is all very funny, but I've always been curious why humans are so hell-bent on ending the world. Every religion has a catastrophy story from Ragnarok to the Apocolypse. Well, hopefully, should we ever create this event out of such a motivated desire for such drama (the end of the world would make a really good reality show. Think of the ratings), the anti-christ will show up and just want cheesey poofs, some bunny slippers and the complete dvd set of Gilligan's Island. We can only hope.

Lascaux Cave

This photograph is from a cave in Lascaux, France. I think it's amazing. Early humans fascinate me. They lived during the Ice Age and ran around wearing furs hunting and gathering. And here we are flipped out about global warming. I'm not trying to minimize its effects on us. I do think we need to green our world.
But human beings are highly adaptable and we've put up with so much worse weatherwise. We're a lot tougher than we think we are.
What I think is particularly beautiful about early human life is that everyone was needed and wanted within a culture. Nobody was a throw-away. In today's world there's such a drive to be exclusive or separated from. We've learned to segregate ourselves. We have to create laws to keep ourselves from doing that.
All the reality shows are like that. They're all based on the principle of exclusion, whether it's judging somebody's talent by subjective judges or voting somebody off an island or a show. In this world brimming over with violence, I think we need a few shows that are about including others and inviting somebody on to your island. Then you can build a treehouse together with another set of hands (the work is so much easier) and sing and dance under the sun.

Barack Obama

Today Stephanie, Karina and I waited in line for 5 hours - yes folks 5 hours - at Dobson High School in Mesa to try to get free tickets to see President Obama speak on Wednesday. It was frickin' cold at 6:45am and right after noon, just 7 people shy in front of us, they ran out of tickets.
It was a sad day in Whoville.
These two young people at the very cut-off point started crying because they wanted to ask him about immigration. They're not legal to be here, since they were born in Mexico, but have lived here all their lives and know no other country. I felt badly for them.
Other than that, it was quite an adventure. Some guy from Crispy Creme donuts came by twice with boxes of free donuts (bless this man Great MecaShiva!). There was another guy with dreadlocks who was dancing and rapping selling key chains saying that Obama was the key.
Then there was the lady in back of us with her 10 year old son who just came out for him. He laid down on his jacket in the grass and slept while we shuffled forward.
Some other lady right in front of us connected with a friend and her son - who was now 40, she hadn't seen him since he was 4 who got tickets. They were thrilled. The lady in front of us didn't get one. She looked really devastated.
We all talked and visited and the line was like having our own small town. I got interviewed by Channel 12 news but my parents said they didn't show me - probably because I wasn't devastated. The girls and I had set an intention for the best and highest good that we make it to get a ticket - it didn't work out, but there is a Divine plan for everything. I didn't bother the news lady with all of that extra info. I was in my jammies when I was talking to her and my feet hurt like hell.

Happy Valentine's Day

Jimmy Carter

I had the most exciting three seconds of my life at Changing Hands on Friday. It took waiting in line for an hour for those three seconds, but it was worth it. Basically, they shuffled us to the back of the store and Jimmy was at a table signing his books as fast as they could hand them to him, and we all got to file past him. There were people taking pictures behind a roped off area.
I kind of felt sorry for him. It was like seeing a major exhibit at the zoo. They wanted us to keep moving and file past him (like the zoo - hello). He didn't look up, he was so busy signing books, but when I stood in front of him, he stopped writing and looked up. I said hi and he smiled and said hi, and then went back to signing books again. (I think I got noticed because I was wearing this fabulous lapis lazuli necklace that's just huge).
I had originally come there because I did a painting that I want to donate to the White House. My best intention was that I would be able to talk to him about it; but honestly, those three seconds when he looked at me - one human greeting another - was enough. It made my whole night.
His eyes are really blue - like Paul Newman blue. I hope he passed them on to his descendants. He looks really old, but there's this quiet power that emanates from him that is both dangerous and lovely. I think you have to be a little dangerous if you're going to be president.
I kept going back and forth between where he was and the front of the store with my daughter, Stephanie and I think we were followed by the Secret Service (which was okay, because they were hot). Stephanie was really good at spotting the ones that were undercover. She tried to take a picture of one on the roof, but they have this aura that emanates from them that blocks pictures, because she got everything but him. Maybe you have to have mutant powers to work for them?

Valentine's Day, 2009

Somebody came in to A Peace of the Universe today and said that on this Valentine's Day, 2009, the planets will be in the exact same position as the lyrics from The Age of Aquarius said they would be:
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revalation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius!
Aquarius!

When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!

Crazy Family Stories

Okay. I knew there was a crazy story about my family I hadn't heard yet, and sure enough, one finally surfaced.
Back in the 60s, one of my mother's cousins fell in love with a 19 year old girl who died. Her cousin went to the cemetery and dug her body up and brought it back to his trailer. He put her in the bathtub and ran a hot bath and tried to revive her. That's what he was doing when the authorities found him.
The only thing that beats this is my best friend Josephine. Her Italian grandfather was shot and killed by a rabbi when her mother was 13. She still hasn't recovered from it.
Shakespeare was right. Fact is stranger than fiction.

Bringing the Love In

I've just realized that I've been complicating love. I've never thought I was ready for it, but really all love is about is sharing. For over half my life now, I've shared large portions of my life with others - mostly my family - and I've done it because it's important to me to be there for someone I love even if I'm doing something for them I don't particularly enjoy.
For the last twenty-five years, I've been a glorified taxi, for example. At one point, I was on the road from 6:30 in the morning to after 4 o'clock in the afternoon, because my kids went to three different schools, plus the oldest had a job. I haven't worked a regular job in all that time because I always had to be there for somebody in my family. Looking back, I don't regret any of that. All of that sharing has made my heart grow bigger.
I'm more flexible as a person, a better listener and more relaxed. All of this tells me I'm ready to love someone special. I never thought I was ready, but really love is all about sharing. About it not having to be about you and what you want. You can share and it's more fun that way.
Every year I make a Treasure Map - some people call it a Vision Board - where you paste pictures and words of things you want out of life for a year on a piece of poster board. Then you hang it up where you'll look at it all the time, because it helps you manifest your desires.
This year, I was guided to leave a blank spot on it. A spot that is obviously empty for the Mystery to slip in, for the beautifully unexpected to fill.
That space where nothing is planned can easily be filled by someone else's sweet presence, for their dreams. Then you get everything.

Enlightenment on the Phoenix Transit

Today I rode the bus to get to work. I always have mystical experiences on buses. A long time ago I met an old man who rode the same bus I did and he told me about how he met an angel on the bus right after his son had died. I thought, "Great! So it's not just me."
Today I sat next to a guy who wreaked of alcohol and he was having a conversation with some older, hippy dude who was sitting across from him. The hippy guy had a scraggly looking beard, an old hat and a cane and he noticed I had a lotus flower drawn on the back of my sketchbook. He said, "Nice lotus."
And I said, "Thanks, I drew it."
He nodded and said, "Do you know why the lotus is so important in the Buddha star?"
I said I didn't.
He said, "It's because the lotus has to grow up from the muck and mud at the bottom of the water, through all this slime, and the flower has a waxy quality to it that repels anything dirty or negative, so that by the time it gets to the surface where the light is, it can open up to a beautiful, perfect flower. That's why the Buddha is always seen sitting on a lotus, because it repels negativity and day to day crap."
I'm not saying it as beautifully as he did, but that's the gist of it. Then he offered me a mint and I thanked him and went on my way.
Sometimes you meet the Buddha on the bus.

Making Wishes

I'm really good at making people's wishes come true. I didn't set out in life to have that as a talent. I just discovered it accidentally. I don't have a lot of money, but strangely enough, I have the same powers as a billionaire who's uber connected.
I can find doors - and not just any door. The right one. I've helped people travel, become famous, rich or whatever they wanted.
What I find fascinating is how they view life after they've achieved something they think they wanted. Once you have it all, then what?
Some people get it all and still feel empty inside. Or they change dreams. I've found that the average person can fantasize about some heartfelt dream and then they get it, but not the feeling they thought would come with it. There's a lot to be said for wishing for essence over form.
Form is making a wish for something well defined to come into your life - like a car, for example. But then why do you want the car? When I ask this, they usually say freedom. But freedom isn't a car. Maybe you should wish for freedom instead. Because once you get the car, you've got car insurance and registration and what kind of alarm system to pick out, and if you get a truck, all your friends will call you when they want to move. Where's the freedom then?
The other thing that fascinates me as a psychic reader is that everybody wants the same thing in life - no matter what kind of occupation they have, or religious background they come from. From morticians to prostitutes to congressmen to housewives.....everybody wants the same thing.
They want to be appreciated.
When people cry about their love lives, they do it why? Because the other person doesn't appreciate them. They're not making the kind of dough they think they should in their job and they're upset? They don't feel appreicated.
In the end, it amazes me that the secret to happiness in life is simply this: give a little appreciation to everyone you meet and maybe you might grant a secret wish they have. And when it comes to what you wish for, go for the feeling first.

Big Present

In Yahoo news, there was an article about this little boy's birthday party. Gabriel was turning six and he had this huge birthday present in his classroom. His mother had brought cupcakes and he was so engrossed in those that one of the other little kids asked him to open the big present.
Everyone wanted to see what was inside!
He tore the paper off and saw that it was his dad, who was on leave from his second tour in Iraq. Gabriel hasn't seen his dad since last June. When his dad, Army Spc. Casey Hurles, found out his leave would coincide with his son's birthday, he came up with the plan to be the surprise present.
The teacher, Dawn VanSickle, was very supportive of being part of the birthday party idea.
For me, this is such a wonderful, sweet story. It makes me cry because it's so deeply touching. I know Gabriel's dad did this just to do something special for his son, but in the end, I think little things like this are what change the world in a positive direction.
Why? Because they evoke an emotion out of us - in this case, love. And there is nothing stronger in the Universe than love. The Universe was made by love and sustained by love and Love created it.
This beautiful act just brings more of that into the world, and the world is weary for it.